You idiot..!
How can you even love her that much? How do you still feel all that for her? Do you really think you’re not clear enough? Do you really think she didn’t notice? How can you even pretend to just be friends? I’ve seen the way you watch her when she’s not looking. How can you hide it, and say you don’t, when she occupies every breath you take? How stupid are you not to notice how she treats you? Can’t you see that she doesn’t feel the same for you? Can’t you see that she doesn’t love you back? How can you be so attached to someone that doesn’t even care? Don’t you even have the least bit of self respect? Don’t you disgust yourself every morning when you wake up? How can you not see that life is not only her? How can you not feel any happiness from anything else? How can you not look around you and see the people who care for you?
You idiot..!
All this time, how didn’t you notice the things I feel for you? How didn’t you notice someone who looks at you everyday loving someone else? How can you not notice my dancing eyes when I see you? How can you not notice the trembling in my voice? How can you not see right through me? Are you really that blind? Why do you enjoy every moment with her and not me? What is it that makes her so special? I DON’T GET IT..! How could I do that to myself? How could I help you to be with her only to see you happy? How did I allow myself to be your secret keeper? How did I ever become this person? How did I become someone I hate?
You idiot..!
What is it about love that makes us so weak and stupid? How can we sacrifice and forgive beyond self-respect? How do we fool ourselves into becoming all that we hate? All that is wrong with the world, in the name of love? Why do we lie, envy and hate in the name of love? Why do we turn into jealous ignorant monsters for love? Why are we blinded from seeing the truth?
That love doesn’t exist… and its just an excuse for being idiots.
written: 18.02.2010
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